Monday April 11th 2011- Day 98

I have decided I am going into work..not sure how long I'm going to make it through the day. It all depends on how I feel. For now I'll plan for a half day and if I'm feeling up to it I'll do the full day. I get dressed and leave for work. When I arrive everyone seems shocked but very happy to see me. I get lots of hugs from everyone. The first part of the day goes well but as the day drags on I feel myself start to get more and more tired. This is the most hours I've been awake so it's hard for me to function. By 11 am I know I'm not going to make it the full day. At 1 pm I finally give up..I leave work and head home. I order some lunch since I havent eaten anything yet today. All I've had so far is a glucerna and 2 protein shakes..I know I need to eat. I eat and take some pain meds and finally fall asleep around 4 pm. I wake up to the sound of my roommate coming in the door around 7. He hands me a notice from Univ of TN. I open it and it's a notice that I'm receiving an award next week. Now the only award I applied for was a scholarship so this is the only thing I believe it is. Wow..if it is that's super..it means I have something to look forward to and and reason to hurry up and get well and get back to school. Also if it's a scholarship I guess that means my mind is made up where I'm going to school (go with who is giving me $ to go to school). I know I will have to call them in the morning to try and find out. I also get a call from the oncology dept telling me I have chemo on Thurs..wtf? I'm post surgery and wasnt informed I need more chemo..something tells me the right hand isnt telling the left hand what it's doing which is causing mass confusion and getting on my last damn nerve. I fall back to sleep and my roommate wakes me around 9 and I go to my bed and fall back to sleep..I wake up a couple of times but I cant get out the bed. I text him around 3 am and we talk til around 5 am. He is happy about Univ of TN too but we'll see what happens. Alot of things are swiming through my mind..I have to call UTN about the notice..I have to call the oncology dept to cancel the chemo..I have to call my breast care dr for a follow-up..I have to call the cancer care organization about my rent..so much to do..so much to think about. My mind is racing so I fall in and out of sleep all night long.