Monday February 21 2011- Day 49

Today is a holiday which gives me a long weekend. My roommate gets up at 5 am to take his mom to work. I open my eyes and look at him and fall back to sleep. He comes back sometime after 7 and I finally get up. Not for long though. I eat a little breakfast and fall back to sleep for a few more hours. Tracie text me and asks why I didnt answer him the day before. I tell him I'm upset he blew off coming up to see me when I'm in the hospital having surgery. We talk for awhile and he finally agrees that he will do his best to come up while I'm in the hospital. I have to be content with that for now. I have a bunch of crap jammed in my laundry basket along with dirty clothes so I finally get up and sort the dirty clothes from the books, papers, mail, etc. My brother text me and asks if I'll be ready by 2 pm so he can come get me. Today is the birthday party for my nephew Robbie who is turning 2. I tell him yes that's fine. I put a load of clothes in the wash and start to get dressed and ready for the birthday party. I manage to get the clothes in the dryer and finish up getting ready when my brother arrives. As we are riding down the road my brother and I talk a little. I love my younger brother just never sure exactly what to talk to him about or how to approach certain topics. My nephew who is in the backseat wakes up and I help him get his shoes off while we ride the rest of the way. We get to my brother's house and I scoop Robbie up and his shoes and walk in the house. Kaylah Niyah and Triston are there. So I hug my nieces and nephew as I set Robbie down. Robbie runs off and Carla comes home with Tatiana. I scoop Tati out the carrier and sit on the couch with her. Tati looks like me as a baby and it makes me smile. My dad calls on the phone to let us know he wont be coming..I talk with him a little and then we hang up. Guests start to arrive and everyone comes over and hugs me and says hi. Carla's mom arrives and she hugs me the hardest. She's happy that I've been moved onto surgery and she loves the site of me holding Tati. Everyone calls her Mini Me which I love. Today my rosacea is the worst it has ever been looking like a horrible rash with small red bumps..it is worst on my cheeks but is also on my forehead now. I hate how it looks..bad enough the chemo took my hair but it's now robbing me of clear skin the 1 thing I've always had. I take only 1 pic with Tati and me because I hate all the rest because of my skin. I give the baby over to Carla's aunt and then her uncle also takes her but finally she ends up back with me. Robbie is running around enjoying his birthday and I spend part of the night laughing at his silliness. Everyone gets their fill of pizza popcorn chicken nuggets cupcakes ice cream and soda and eventually the guests start to leave. When my brother goes to take his son Triston home he asks if I want to stay awhile longer and I tell him yes. I'm enjoying my time with Tati and I dont want it to end just yet. My cousin arrives while my brother is gone and she takes Tati to hold her for awhile. I hate anyone taking Tati from me. My little niece and I have a special bond. She never cries with me just lays quietly in my arms or on my shoulder as I walk around the house. Only if she needs to be fed or changed will she fuss a little. It gets very late and the weather has turned very cold and freezing rain is now falling. My brother gets back and takes me home. We have a slow go as its turning treacherous but I make it home and as soon as I walk in the door my roommate is ready to walk out the door. We head to the grocery store to pick up a few things. We get back after 12:30 and after I put things away I fall asleep. Tracie wakes me an hour or so later and we end up talking for the next 3 hours. It was a necessary talk that cleared the air on a lot of things that we hadnt been saying to each other. I dont know how long it will last but the air was cleared. I fall asleep finally sometime close to 4 am. Going to be tired at work tomorrow.