Wednesday, February 2, 2011- Day 30

I work all day with that sense of dread of what is to come tomorrow. I think the dread has me not feeling 100%. I go do a short workout and finish my day out. At some point I pull off my head scarf and send a picture to my family. Everyone but my dad seems to be ok with my bald head. I've gotten ok with it. It's an adjustment in my life. I havent gotten a good wig yet, maybe this weekend if I feel ok and can convince my cousin, but if not I'll stick with head scarves for now. They are easier to workout in anyway. I talk with 1 of my co-workers who keeps using that word courageous. She tells me when her son went through leukemia treatment she refused to come to work everyday that it was too hard to face everyone, but somehow I have found courage to try to keep my life as normal as possible despite going through treatment and not always feeling 100% physically or emotionally. Normalcy is all I seek in my life, but it isnt always easy. I leave work a little late and I head home. My roommate wont be home til tomorrow night but when I get home he has left the rent money and has installed a new 50" plasma tv. I sleep soundly watching it til he wakes me up around midnight by scaring the hell out of me. I just wake up to a black shadow standing over me and touching my leg. I scream and leap up. He laughs hysterically at me but proceeds to install the surround system he has bought as well. It sounds so good and I cant wait til the Superbowl to really enjoy it. Not quite the same effect with re-runs of family guy..lol. I fall back to sleep til around 2 am when I start texting Tracie off and on as I drift in and out of sleep til morning.