Saturday February 26 2011- Day 54

My roommate wakes me up early. I lay in the bed though. I am too depressed to move. He asks if I want to come with him to go get the car and I tell him no. My dad calls while I'm laying there but I dont answer the phone. What can I say right now? Everytime I think about what I'm going through I start to cry again and talking only makes it worse. I only talk to Miguel because we live together and it's unavoidable. Besides he wont ever let me lay in bed and feel sorry for myself for long. He goes to get the car and text me on the way back and tells me to get dressed. I get up finally shower and throw some clothes on. We go to breakfast at Ihop and then go to hh gregg to look at tvs. I own a 20" color tube television and I want to switch to a bigger flat screen tv finally. We get to hh gregg and I pick out a 42" flat screen plasma on sale for $469. We get it loaded into the car and take it home. We get it set up and afterwards my roommate leaves to go visit his mom. I lay in the bed and take a nap. My father has called twice while I've been out and despite not wanting to talk I call him back finally. I explain to him that I havent wanted to talk because talking leads to crying and as I'm talking I start sobbing again. I'm still devastated by yesterday's news and angry for being left out of the loop of my own treatment. I tell my dad I'm ready to say Fuck GW Hosp and move onto a new place like cancer treatment center of america or MD Anderson where my brother works. Any place but GW anymore. He changes the subject and I tell him about buying a new tv. We finally get off the phone and I doze off briefly til my roommate text me a couple hours later to tell me to get up we're going to dinner. We go get food from Levis in Oxon Hill and stop by Giant to buy some juice. We get home and we eat while I look up buying a laptop. I am thinking I want a laptop for school wherever I go. I finally find the one I'm looking for and order online. I prefer to do all my shopping online. I dont like to store shop at all. After we eat I start to doze off so I get up and go lay in my bed and call it a night around 10:30.