Wednesday March 2 2011- Day 58

It's not our usual early start so I can sleep in today instead of jumping out the bed all early to get ready for chemo. I eat a good breakfast shower dress slow and wait on my dad. He arrives and we talk on our way to chemo. Nothing specific..I just love chatting with him. We get checked in and they check my vitals and we take our seat by the far window for chemo. They draw blood and leave me for 10 mins to run a check. They come back and give me the all clear and start my transfusion. Saline first to run through the whole procedure, then 2 anti-nausea then the actual chemo drugs. The nurse today does my push first which confuses me but she explains that by doing the adriamycin first instead of the taxol helps with the toxicity of the taxol hoping to keep the nausea to a minimum. So she says..it doesnt seem to help. Regardless I still get the same sickening knot in my stomach that I've gotten used to. My dad gets me to eat so I manage to eat a tuna fish sandwich and some soup and a cookie before I start to feel sleepy. I had taken some motrin pm hoping I would sleep through at least part of my chemo today. Apparently adrenaline decided against that til nearway through. My dad is getting sleepy too though so I dont feel bad. I can tell he wants to doze off. Chemo is hard on my dad. I catch him looking at me sometimes and I can see sadness in his eyes on the verge of tears. He feels the need to fill the silence with words. I look at him sometimes wishing he wouldnt..that he would just let it be silent but I know why he does it so I keep talking til I can barely keep my eyes open. We both doze off at the very end of chemo. I let him sleep for about 25 mins til I get tired of sitting there and I wake him so we can leave. I go to make my appt for next session but the scheduler doesnt have my paperwork so they cant schedule my next session. They say dont worry wait til tomorrow morning when I get back. Ok whatever. We leave and I go home. I am feeling so feverish and nauseous I can barely get undressed and in the bed before the flu like symptoms overtake me. It's going to be another ugly rough night.